Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
