I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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