thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
