We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
