guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize