Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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