worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
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So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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