What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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