Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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