So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
