google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
