he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
