oh god the rape fog is back!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
