please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
