I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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