Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
