just come out here and I will go home with you...
i love accidental penises.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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