So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
