This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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