oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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