I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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