You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
