I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
