just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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