whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
