i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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