Buhtt sex?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
