That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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