You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
