That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
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At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
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the girl whose rug I peed on is here
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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