Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
