STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
