dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
