Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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