Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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