My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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