hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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