i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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