you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
