Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
