btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Say something about gay babies.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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