:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
