i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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