Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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