I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
