he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
and i looked up. we had an audience...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
