She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
