So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize