my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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