I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
