ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
