he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize