Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
