He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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