Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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