Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
