you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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