Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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