We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
