So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
