Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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