Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
