I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
